Gunsmoke Botulism

 My dad is a dentist. He is very knowledgeable about everything in the area of science and medicine, coming from a family of health care professionals as we do. In keeping with the idea that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, rest assured that a great deal of knowledge can be a tremendous problem. This has proved to be true in the area of personal wellness awareness commonly referred to as “paranoid hypochondria”. In my family, we call it Gunsmoke Botulism. This is the story of how that came to be.


A few years ago, I was talking to my “godsister” Clair about irrational fears, such as would be related to paranoid hypochondria. Clair is a few years older than I am, and normally a source of great conversational wisdom. She told me that, for as long as she can remember, she has had an irrational fear of contracting botulism. This is a food poisoning caused by a bacterium called botulinum growing on improperly sterilized canned meats and other preserved foods. When I asked her why she ever developed such a notion, she told me that her father had given her that warning as a child based on advice from my dad. 


My godfather was Bob Burleson. He was a successful Bell County lawyer and Baptist River Lay Minister. His ancestors helped create Texas, as well as Baylor University. He traded good advice with my dad for over 40 years. This was not one of those times.


Every week, for 20 years (1955-1975), my dad and grandfather watched Gunsmoke together. They saw all 635 episodes when they originally aired, and countless times since then. Episode 19 of season 8 was titled “No Hands”. The episode originally aired February 8, 1964. The plot of this episode involves people who were dying from eating improperly prepared sausages and were treated for their affliction by Doc Addams. This was during the time that Burt Reynolds was a regular cast member on the show. Denver Pyle guest starred. 


My mom remembers dad watching this episode while they were eating sausage, so it must have aired as a repeat sometime after they were married in January 1968. Since dad really wasn’t used to mom cooking for him yet, within days he was sure that he had contracted botulism as a result. I have always known that my dad was a master of paranoid hypochondria. As soon as I became aware of this literal episode, I have referred to it as GUNSMOKE BOTULISM.

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